i don’t fall in love easily

i don’t fall in love easily

my heart is too daring

i am afraid of the sacrifices

she can make

i don’t fall in love so easily

two women reside in me

one is made of water

one is made of fire

i cannot get them to get along

i don’t easily fall in love

i often get melancholic

and nectars do not

fall on my pollen grains

i do not  exhale

no wonder my heart is heavy

when i want to cry

i steal  glances at the past

i borrow memories

of course a sad one


i don’t fall in love easily

i am too loaded with

all kinds of deep seated emotions

behaving like bees

in a trapped cage

unable to hold one

in it’s raw state

i once knocked on the door of healing

knock knock

who is there

it is me

i have come to take you with me

go home child

don’t come here searching

for me when you already have

go home and open your wounded soul

your brokenness is so deep

even in the bed of safety

you are still afraid


so i came to closure

and said

i didn’t come here looking for you

i came here looking for

the piece of myself i left with you

i came here to return

the piece of yourself lost in me

i came here not for you

i came here only to take what is mine

and give you back what is yours


i don’t fall in love easily

because you come to me acting all nice

and i ask myself, is that you?

or just one of the games i blindly fall for


i guess i am just too careful

who calls me sunshine in the morning

who calls me sugar in the evening

i guess i am scared

of the one who stares into my eyes

and call me beautiful with without a blink

i guess i am scared of who holds my hand

and makes me melt at once

who holds me in his arms

and mound my vulnerability into his

i guess i scared of who kisses

me on my neck and signals my body to escape

i guess i am too scared

i am too damn scared

because of all the things

i have feared most

i have  loved most


it is not love that people are scared of 

it is losing themselves completely in it


i don’t easily fall in love

because when i do

i don’t pick up any thing




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